A Little History

Last year I got a referral to a fertility doctor in town so I could get an idea of my timeline. My cycle had been very irregular for a long time and my cycle only lasts 1-3 days when I actually got it. I had heard wonderful things about this place and was very optimistic after attending a free seminar. I went through all the tests that my insurance would cover - ultrasounds, labs, HSG - but opted not to do the sonohysterogram since my HMO would not cover it. My feeling was that I have yet to try to get pregnant, so why put out the money on this test at this point. Yes, money seems to always be at the front of my mind when it comes to this. I have finally gotten myself out of a huge mound of debt and am trying to be fiscally responsible.

Last February, I flew my mom out from back east to come to my consultation with me. I needed her to hear what the doctor was saying, since I felt she thought I was making a mountain out of this. The doctor said he had been surprised that I had come to him at 34, but once he had done the ultrasound, he said it was good I had come in. Apparently, at my age I should have between 8-12 immature eggs in each ovary. He said I had 4-5 in each. My FSH level was good - which means the quality of my eggs was good, however, there is no way to tell when that level will change. He recommended an IVF cycle and quoted me a price of about $12K, but said I would need to make an appointment with billing to iron out the details.

I was frustrated that I wasn't getting all the information in the one visit - my mom was leaving the next day, however he was nice enough to find someone from billing to meet with us, but she didn't have specifics about my case. When I finally, had the billing appointment a few weeks later, the price jumped to about $17.5K and then it was mentioned that the doctor was recommending I do 2 cycles to increase the chances of harvesting more eggs. I was upset about the increase and even more upset at the mention that a second cycle was being recommended before I even completed one. I knew it was expensive before I started the process, but I guess I expected it to be more straightforward. I felt like the rules kept changing. And getting pregnant was not a sure thing. I decided to put the decision on hold.

In April, I headed to a yoga training that gave me a chance to think and just be. I decided to just let what needed to happen happen. I dated and dated and dated and dated...Lots of first dates. A few second and third dates...But nothing that made 'my toes curl' (stolen from a friend when he describes the first time he kissed his wife). I spent a lot of times with a friends kids and got really close to them. Abruptly, I got cut off for a few months. Not quite sure what happened, but hope it was that life just got busy for us all. I saw them again a few weeks ago and I thought - I'm ready.

I know my life will change. I know I will need to change my hectic schedule. But sadly, changing my hectic schedule will mainly mean re-evaluating my teaching schedule. I rather hang out at home on the weekends with the dogs or go on a hike than party or go clubbing anymore. There are lots of other things I worry about with raising a child on my own, but I'm working through them. In the end, it will all be ok. I just keep remembering that 'everything is exactly the way it should be.'

In continuing this journey, I opted to not put it on hold until I return in 3 weeks and called my primary care to ask for another referral to get a second opinion. I only had really explored the option of freezing my eggs, but now am ready to look into IUI. I'd go back to the original doctor and still may, but I think I have trust issues with the last fiasco with cost. No call back from my PCP, but that's ok, maybe I'll find someone to be the donor the old-fashioned way.