I may be completely crazy here, but I've decided to try to get pregnant with a friend the 'old fashioned way'. He says he will sign over his rights and be as involved as I want him to be. Its been so important to me in this whole decision to be a SMC to know the the father and be able to tell my child something about them that this offer just seems to be right for me.
I will admit we tried on my birthday and a few days later. I knew it wasn't the right time, but also knew he was moving out of state while I was on vacation. Before I started investing money in flights, I wanted to make sure I could do it and it felt right. It did. I have some fear that it could get complicated, but I think that no matter what choice I made there would be fear. I'm also not sure that he understands that in order for this to work with us being in separate states is that we need to see each other during a certain span of time (aka - when I'm ovulating). This month it worked out, but I do need to have further discussions with him on the specifics when he's here in a few weeks.
This is where it gets complicated. Some friends say I need everything spelled out and others say to just let it happen and not pressure him with schedules and details, etc. I'm feeling I need to be somewhere in the middle. Yes, we had this conversation about me getting 'knocked up' (his words). And yes, we've had conversations about when we were tested and results. Yes, we've had a conversation about him signing over rights and maybe meeting the child someday if I (and my child) wanted that. But this was before he moved... Now he's moved and I think he's seeing it as booty and I'm seeing it as baby making. I guess it's really a mix of both. I see it as him doing me a favor and want to pay for all the travel. He allowed me to pay for this flight since he just moved and is not working yet, but I think he really wanted to. I'm one of those people who over thinks and over talks things, but I don't want to be surprised or waste time.
On a side note, I went to the air show in town yesterday with one of my best male friends and his toddlers yesterday. I had been wondering when I came back from my cruise if I was really willing to let go of seeing the world for a while to raise a child. After yesterday, I know I am so ready for this!
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2 comments:
Happy to hear you decided how to get pregnant and that you've started.
I think you should have some kind of written agreement with the guy as to what exactly will happen once the baby is born (so that he won't suddenly demad sole custody or whatever).
Anyway, good luck!
He'll be out here on the 23rd, so that's all part of my plan. I thought I had read somewhere that an agreement like this wouldn't stand up in court. I'm doing more research now. Thanks for the luck!
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