Cycle 2 Begins

It's been a frustrating few months. I was fully expecting to start my second IUI cycle at the end of last month. Unfortunately, the doctor's office forgot to get the approval from my insurance. I was very upset and disappointed, but accepted it as a sign from the universe. During my yoga therapy training it was recommended that I detox before my next cycle. Being forced to wait, allowed me to follow that recommendation. Honestly, I feel pretty good. Not sure if it was the supplements or eating less carbs (which I started at the same time on my own), but I feel good - physically. Emotionally, I am feeling a little down. I guess scattered is the best word. I'm working on it though.

Today I went in for my baseline ultrasound. The whole way to the office, I was trying to visualize 6 or 7 follicles in each ovary (probably not the smartest thing to do while driving)... I was excited to be there. I felt really good about starting this process again. The doctor said I had no cysts and I was good to start the cycle. I had my blood drawn and was getting a lesson on the new meds by the nurse and decided to ask what my follicle count was... She said '3 on the left'. My heart leapt (thinking that the left usually had the fewer follicles). And then '1 on the right.' Instant deflation on my part and the thought 'Damn right ovary' flew through my head.

Mentally, I spent some time beating up my poor right ovary. And then all my yogic lessons came back to my mind. I need to stop blaming my body. I need to send lots of love to my ovaries and follicles and nurture them to be successful in this process. I really only need 1 good follicle to get pregant, so why the negativity? Now, everytime I start to get these negative thoughts, I am trying to catch myself and turn them into loving thoughts. It's only been an hour though... :)

Over the past month, I have also been trying to meditate more and working on relaxing my pelvic area. I tensed up so much during the last IUI, it couldn't have helped. My body had to sense my fear. Now that I know what to expect, I'm trying to prepare myself emotionally and physically for the experience.